william from texas

In the kitchen.

Me: Hey, there’s no more dark roast biological Indonesian coffee left. No more light roast either.

Roommate: So what? Use the fairtrade eco-label North African stuff.

Me: Nah, man, I don’t like that one, and I already had the Lugano ristresso Persian blend this morning. Can you run to the store and get some for me?

Him: What? Are you kidding me? Go yourself.

Me: Aww, I’m just reeeeeeally busy, you know? And I need some coffee to help me concentrate. Come on.. !

Him: No way! What you’re asking is impossible. And just so you know, I had a cup of the last batch of coffee, and it was delicious.

Me: (sad puppy face)

wakes up at 3 in the morning.

The Working Guy: Hey guys, can you cut it out? I’ve got work in the morning and you’re having a powwow out here.

Roommate’s Hippy Friend: Hey man, we’re just tryin to have some positive beats, you know?

WG: You’re banging a drum outside my door, and I don’t even have a door, just this stupid piece of cloth.

Roommate #4: Oh, sorry. Maybe we can take it to mezzo forte.

WG: Maybe you can take it to the kitchen.

Roommate #3: But would you like some wine?

WG: Well, ok, if you insist.

Hippy: Duuude.